Counseling is just nodding, sitting or talking? Prevailed misconception in Pakistan.

“Miss, if you can understand what I say and go through you can really do everything in this world” said one of my teenage student coming for counseling. This response was overwhelming for me yet very satisfying that by the Grace of Allah I was able to do the job exactly in a way I am supposed to do. With this encouragement, I moved on with work for rest of the day.

Counseling in an educational setup in Pakistan is nonetheless a remarkable step taken by educational management realizing the needs and the constructive results it brings for the welfare of students. However, working as a counselor is yet another challenge for the counselors largely because of the faulty attitudes associated with counseling in our society.

Firstly, the nature of counseling relationship is inaccurate. Majority of the population finds counseling a synonym of “talking”. With this faulty notion unfortunately many qualified teachers, heads and people from management have been heard saying that we’ve counseled a child our self. When asked upon are you a counselor, comes a timid reply, “No. but all counselors does is talking so we’ve done that.” Realizing that ‘their’ counseling didn’t work then the child is referred to the counselor. Counseling as defined by American Psychological Association is “addressing the emotional, social, work, school and physical health concerns people may have at different stages in their lives, focusing on typical life stresses and more severe issues with which people may struggle as individuals and as a part of families, groups and organizations”

This definition also eliminates another misconception-counselors just sit there in their office, nod and stay silent. Often counselors are seen as the most free or “farigh” person and has no workload in an educational setup. Counselors’ image is portrayed as “touchy-feely” or the one who can read your mind to another extreme of detached or ineffective. Whereas, Counselors in a school setup is in close contact with the teacher whose child is referred to, section head, campus head, parents and school management at the same time. Counselors are active, engaged throughout the session, use questions, and interventions which helps a child to move towards the goals. Every child is different, his/her needs and point of being referred is different and requires different intervention to work with. Counselor’s work is always more than just sit, nod and talk.

Picture taken from The Awkward Yeti

Furthermore, a child who is referred is tagged or labeled for seeing a counselor. It’s not by a particular person or a teacher but in my observation it’s basically the whole environment and attitude of the educational setup. For instance, several teachers are observed who come and see me with regards to a referred child not with the intention of welfare of a child but to know and have more material to gossip around in staff rooms. As a counselor, keeping confidentiality and making sure there’s no harm to child is our first and foremost duty. Similarly, keeping it confidential until there’s a precautionary need to break confidentiality, counselors are also seen as not cooperative or favoring a “troubled” child.

Counseling in an educational setup is a significant step provided that whatever the issue is, if handled right at the beginning will be a stitch in time saves nine. However such deep rooted faulty attitudes of educational institutes and largely the society will not only lead such kids often being isolated from families or society but also causes them not to look for solution until their condition gets exacerbated. Since many of us believe that living with stress, anxiety, compulsive behaviors or a variety of other symptoms are simply what life is all about. These complaints are no different from flu, fever, high blood pressure or other problems that life sometimes throws at us for which we look out for treatment. We do not hide these symptoms, or live in shame or pretend there’s no problem.

The article was published in Proseed Educational Magazine:  http://proseedmag.com/2017/05/counseling-is-just-nodding-sitting-or-talking-prevailed-misconception-in-pakistan/

Home-Where Bablu is.

I was steps away from what society had depicted as my home. As i stood there outside in the heat i felt lost, tired and drained. The door finally opened and the sight of him after such a long exhausted day took my breath away. I was speechless for a while, mesmerized by the epitome of beauty that stood before me, and then looked into his eyes, which were shinning so bright with joy, taking in the warmth that was still there. His mouth transformed into that flawless silent meow that i had fallen in love all those times ago. He took a few steps forward, took him in my arms and then... then i felt i was home at last.


Because home is a feeling, its happiness and its where Bablu is.

Bon Anniversaire Bablu.

As soon as I started typing to write for you my true feelings, you jumped right here on the keys to shape my feelings like this: xuljm,mndwioeywhj. Not understanding a single letter you pressed here, I am 110% sure that wisdom of yours is entirely superior. From the days of chasing your own tail to this day when you walk confidently out of kitchen after messing up things, no amount of time can erase a memory of you. I absolutely love when you've got no snooze button when you want your breakfast, your tail-sign language, you curling up on my pillow during night and me not knowing until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker - you’re the most precious thing to me and your meow massages my heart. You have jiggly-puff’s round shiny eyes, softest fur, most delicate nostrils and mobile ear and with all your jumping, hoping and skipping you simply make my day purr-fect Bablu!

I am and will always be out of words to describe the love I have and he has for me. Most of you may find it all crazy but let me tell you it’s the cat thing YOU wouldn't understand at all. 

Mental Illnesses Neglected and Rising

When someone has a fever/flu that persists they usually go to a doctor for the treatment. Similarly, when someone suffers a severe injury or has a heart attack, they will immediately rush to the hospital. Unfortunately, when someone is suffering from a mental illness, from depression to schizophrenia, they will often hide it or seek treatment from ‘peer baba’.

Mental diseases is not treated the same as other physiological illnesses, and coupled with the increasing stress of daily live including inflation, unemployment, etc, there is an increasing impact on the mental well being of Pakistanis. Very often increased stress results in psychosomatic complaints that appear physical e.g., pain in arms and chest, asthma, fainting, but are actually a result of psychological reasons. All these mental illnesses, like other physiological sickness, can be treated if professional help is taken for treatment. Considerable advances have been made in modern medicine to treat everything from depression to panic attacks.

 A WHO report indicates that according to epidemiological studies carried out in Pakistan, between 10-16% of the population suffers from moderate psychiatric illnesses, in addition to over 1% suffering from severe mental illnesses. Another WHO report claims that between 46-66% of women i.e. almost half of all women in Pakistan, and 15-25% of men suffer from anxiety and depression. In rural areas over 60% women were affected compared to 25-30% women in urban counters. Relatively mind mental illness like depression, although they can often lead to a much lower quality of life or even suicide, can often lead to moderate to severe mental illness. Professional treatment needs to be sought early in the illness to improve the prognosis of the disease.

At the policy front, the National Mental Health Program was formulated in 1986 and is part of the general health policy of the country. It involves incorporating mental health in primary health care, removing stigma which is attached with mental diseases, caring for mental health and substance abuse in the country. There has been limited progress on these excellent policies. A new Mental Health Ordinance emphasizes the promotion of mental health and prevention and cure of mental illnesses. The ordinance protects the rights of the mentally ill and promotes awareness and mental health literacy. Although the ordinance was legislated, it has not been meticulously implemented. Given that there are only 4 mental hospitals and less than 800 psychiatrists and psychologists combined in a country of 175 million (about 1 per 250,000 persons), it is not difficult to understand the challenges that lie ahead.

Mental health is a much neglected area of public health in Pakistan, with a severe shortage of service facilities sectors. While the systematic issues that plague health services in Pakistan are shared by all health areas, mental health services are even worse than for other health issues because of the deep stigma and discrimination that mental health patient face. This not only leads to mental health patients often being isolated from society and sometimes from their families, but also causes people who have moderate or mild mental illnesses not to accept or seek treatment until their condition gets exacerbated. Even when treatment is sought, it is often through traditional healers, and the limited demand of professional mental health services has also resulted in very limited service availability in the private sector.

Unfortunately, many of us believe that living with stress, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, compulsive behaviours, psychosomatic pains and illnesses or a variety of other symptoms are simply what life is all about. These complaints are no different from fevers, broken bones, high blood pressure or other problems that life sometimes throws at us but we do seek treatment for these. We do not hide these symptoms, or live in shame, or pretend there is no problem.